Monday, January 01, 2018

Its Good or Bad ...hard to say!

Wow! Another year has rolled over and its time to once again to attempt to update my blog after long hiatus from here because what we call "life" happens. The last few weeks of December I take time to contemplate as is my practice to write in my personal journal what I call for lack of a technical term "a 4 quadrant analysis". I will share it here, and it may help someone if you want to use this tool....if not that's okay too :)
 The 4 quadrants for me is a solid list that I have kept throughout the year from which I pick the highlights from each list and summarize the big ones for the whole year. This kind of introspection helps me not only be self-aware but gives me some unique insights and foresight into things and sometimes into myself.

The 4 quadrants are:

1. What have I been thankful for? 
2. What were the most painful moments and grieving moments? How well did I grieve? 
3. What are the new things I discovered and learned throughout the year?
4. What are the things I need to change, align, adjust for the coming year? 


Last night I heard a TEDster talk about the rare genetic condition of her daughter that took their life's turn in dealing with something that the culture and society would term as "bad." Life happens, and s#@t in life happens! She related an interesting parable of how when she left the iron grip of treating the life-changing event as neither good or bad she was able to come to a place of embracing the wonder and how new things and things that were different were to be learned or sometimes the status quo needed to be challenged. The ancient parable  that she related was a farmer who lost his horse and is transcribed here:

The farmer lost his horse and neighbors came over to say, "Oh, that's too bad." And the farmer said, "Good or bad, hard to say." Days later, the horse returns and brings with it seven wild horses. And neighbors come over to say, "Oh, that's so good!" And the farmer just shrugs and says, "Good or bad, hard to say." The next day, the farmer's son rides one of the wild horses, is thrown off and breaks his leg. And the neighbors say, "Oh, that's terrible luck." And the farmer says, "Good or bad, hard to say." Eventually, officers come knocking on people's doors, looking for men to draft for an army, and they see the farmer's son and his leg, and they pass him by. And neighbors say, "Ooh, that's great luck!" And the farmer says, "Good or bad, hard to say."

This reminds me of another list that I go through at the end of each year - the dreaded goal list that is divided into work goals, family goals, and personal goals. Going through that list is sometimes painful, but I have realized it is in incremental steps that we make progress. The learning takeaway is "I am hopefully moving forward." I look back at those lists and realize on the work front 12 goals achieved out of 16, family - 6 out of 10 and personal 2 out of 12. The progression reveals where I spent most of my time. I wonder if the ratios were 50% in each area would effectiveness and contentment in me increase? Good or bad ... it's hard to say!